Ladies and Gentlemen, Wenches and Rogues, I am proud to announce the birth of my second born, and my first Man Child; his name is… Archer, and, if I do say so myself, I say, he has the perfect name for the son of a Culinary Barbarian. A strong, regal name. A hunter! A Warrior! A provider! When his foes hear his battle cry, they will flee in fear!Read more
North Africa, there are fewer places on the planet with more history. It is home to Rome’s greatest rival, The Empire of Carthage. The Empire’s greatest hero Hannibal, the general not the cannibal, marched his army of Phoenician Regular Troops, and European Mercenaries and elephants across the Alps to attack the Latin capital. Sure, it didn’t work well, the Romans eventually defeated them, razed Carthage and salted the earth so that nothing would ever grow again, but I say it just adds more seasoning to their dishes.Read more
Scotland! A nation where the men are hard and the women are harder. Where the national dress for men is literally a dress, but are immune from being mocked to their face, owing to the large knife worn in their sock below their pleated tartan skirt. No, this is not a nation of hairy netballers, but a country of warriors, of kings and queens vying for power and control of the British Isles. Unfortunately for them, many of these kings and queens lost their heads for their effort.Read more
Some of the best things in life are the easiest to obtain like, love, laughter, friendship, or the sacking a monastery on Lindisfarne. You don’t have to try too hard to be happy, simply take the easiest route or the path of least resistance and you too can sail home with a swag bag chock full of golden religious relics. While you’re out at sea, why not cast a net and see if you can drag in some dinner to share with some friends on the journey home.Read more
Nothing gets the heart pumping, the skin flushing, the pupils dilating and rivulets of perspiration beading down a brow quite like my favourite of spices, the chilli. It can liven up any dish; pizza and pasta, soups and salads, curries, casseroles and even cocktails, enhancing the flavours and giving a zing to the senses. We Barbarians understand that chillies are not for everyone’s pallet just as not everyone can grow a beard, or chest hair. What I’m actually saying is, if you don’t like chillies… You aren’t really a man! And this is fine; but you’re probably more comfortable sipping a shandy with our country’s Minister for Women. For those that prefer to douse their diet with a seasoning of spice… read on.Read more
A shared meal is something every barbarian loves! You’ve just returned home from raiding your neighbours from across the sea and have returned bountiful to replenish your larder with rare game, spices and exotic liquors. Fresh green, red and yellow vegetables, which have stayed crisp in the hull of your longboat, crunchy to the bite and exploding with juiciness. You have oils for cooking the most elegant of dishes with some left over for massaging the swollen belly of your spouse who is carrying your growing man-child; your barbaric legacy.Read more
You have dinner planned; the table is set, your candles are ready to be lit. You have a lovely surprise for your beautiful and yet, heavily pregnant partner, who has returned home from work wearied by the toil of industry and exhausted by the travail of carrying your still forming man-child in her womb. You tell her to relax and put her feet up and you slip in a DVD of her favourite girly television show. You turn and enter the kitchen where you have carefully laid out your kitchen knives, cutting board and utensils, all while listening to Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda gossiping over Samantha’s newest conquest.Read more
Sometimes a barbarian can be spoiled for choice; do we raid to the West or to the East? We love the delectable sweet and savoury titbits from the Americas, dripping with grease, but we also have a craving for the spicy, aromatic temptations of the Orient, brimming with fire! To the Wild West of the US, we’ll have to deal with cowboys and gun slingers and to the Far East to Thailand, we’ll confront Muay Thai Boxers, fighting on the backs of elephants. Either way, this barbarian really wants to get his hands dirty, elbow deep in mess. No time for blades or irons.Read more
An Image popped into my head; “Batter”, “Coconut”. A strange thought. Then again, another flash, “Chicken” and “Curry”. So vivid, it was almost real.
Then, a voice whispered… “If you whisk it, it’ll be yum!”
I turn; no one there.Read more
Eggnog: that delicious Yule Tide beverage made of milk, eggs and spices, popularised in so many Christmas television specials and movies where the family’s outcast uncle has a bit too much “Christmas Spirit”. Scenes where grandmas ladle themselves multiple lugs of lush and creamy mugs of warmed and whisky drenched cheer, only to later chase the neighbour’s kids while wearing a mistletoe hat.
Would it surprise you then that eggnog itself has earnt itself a place in American Military infamy?Read more